I did it.

 It took a while. 

It took a lot of soul searching. Even after I posted it here, it still took me another month to fully decline the full time position at a very good company, with a very good salary benefits, etc. 

Writing it here, putting it out there helped solidify the decision. I considered this my truth. This is how I really felt, even though the pangs of potentially being broke still get me, I know that I was not happy. 

I was sitting with my daughter in the yard. We were looking at the sky and the trees. She was 5 months at this point. I just looked at her, and our surroundings and realized how incredibly happy I was in that moment, with my daughter - and I didn't want anything to come between me and that feeling.  

So I jumped. It was terrifying. I spoke to the Talent Acquisition guy and my boss. They understood. I honestly hope I didn't burn any bridges but we'll leave that to fate.  For now, and at least until I'm ready to work full time again, I need to cherish this time with my family. I'll work contract/freelance jobs and work in the Arts to fill up my soul bucket. 

Decision is made. No looking back.