Here we go again........

I have the uncanny ability to be screwed over by my landlords.

My first sublet, the guy spent my deposit and had nothing to give me when I moved out. I threatened a lawsuit and he arranged a payment plan with me in order to pay me back- it took 6 months....

the next apt I moved into was with a co-worker. 4 months into it we received about 30 eviction notices. I'm not exaggerating at all. The mail man was pissed bc he had to scan every single one of them with our signatures. Apparently the management company was selling the property and ordered us out. My coworker told our other roommate that she was getting a lawyer and that he could stay, she also noted 'don't tell Fran'.
Not cool. I had never done anything to her ever.

And now,
I've been waiting to move into a 2br apts in our building that is being renovated. I was originally told it was going to be $1500-1750.
September 29th, I'm told the rent is going to be $2000+.
The last day of the month? really? Why on earth would I stick around for an apt that I am not interested in anymore?
Not only that I have a roommate that was supposed to move in with me and she's screwed too...

ugh.

OBSESSED

I love love love this song. It's exactly how I feel when I'm in Love.  When you can't help smiling at the person because you're so happy.

HARVEST MOON, NEIL YOUNG (on the EAT, PRAY, LOVE Soundtrack)

Come a little bit closer,

hear what I have to say,

just like children sleeping,

we could dream this night away

but there's a full moon risin,

lets go dancin in the light

we know where the music's playin

lets go out and feel the night

because I'm still in love with you,

i wanna see you dance again,

because I'm still in love with you

on this harvest moon

when we were strangers

I watched you from afar,

when we were lovers,

I loved you with all my heart

but now it's getting late, 

and the moon is climbing high

I want to celebrate

the light shining in your eye

because I'm still in love with you,

i wanna see you dance again,

because I'm still in love with you

on this harvest moon

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2txt_neil-young-harvest-moon_music

Dear Blog: meet your namesake

I wanted to start this blog to try document the daily good stuff and crap that I went through to get to my ultimate happy place.

But I couldn't think of a freaking name for the longest time. An example I thought of sugarsaltpepper, an ode to an actors journey... but surprisingly, it was taken. 'for the love of' was also taken. I wanted a play on 'love' because that is ultimately what I preach to everyone. You have to do what you love to be fulfilled. stil no luck with the name.

Then, on the flight to Tampa for Aeden and Sophia's baptism I was listening to the Broadway channel on the radio (of course) and 'What I did for love' came on. This song is from Chorus line, one of the shows I worked on in Miami. Eureka!

I switched the tense of the phrase because it's my present state, not past. When I look back in 40 years hopefully it'll be something wonderful to look back on, and hopefully it'll have all paid off.

I'm a total Gleek.
And this morning I watched the season premiere on Hulu.com
and it made me cry. again.  as Glee always does bc I'm a nut.
It's a beautiful song.

Here's the link and fast forward to around the 40 minute mark...

http://www.hulu.com/stand_alone/647343a936faf0d7d937087ceb904542?lcname=ESMABi1pc1RyYWlsZXJTZWxlY3RvclZpZGVvAgYVaW5QbGF5bGlzdAIGFXBvcG91dFRpbWUFQnKzm5A3MAAGIWFkU2VsZWN0b3JPcHRpb24GAQYjcGxheWxpc3RBZFVuaXRJZHMJAwEEgZBdBhNjb250ZW50SUQEi/i77wYtc2VsZWN0b3JWaWRlb0NvbXBsZXRlZAIGFXVzZXJQbGFuSUQE/////wYXcG9wb3V0U3RhcnQFQO+gn/////8GHWRlZmF1bHRRdWFsaXR5BAIGIXNpdGVMb2NhdGlvblBhdGgBBhF1c2VyTmFtZQYBBh9kZWZhdWx0TGFuZ3VhZ2UGCW5vbmUGJ2RlZmF1bHRDYXB0aW9uU3R5bGUGAzEGF2N1cnJlbnRTbG90BP////8GFWN1cnJlbnRQb2QEAQYNdXNlcklEBIS0r9g=&continuous_play_mode=4&continuous_play_sort=#in-playlist

GOSSIP!!!

These past couple weeks have been interesting. Lots of highs and lows. 

Sometimes it seems when my personal life goes down, my career goes up and vice versa.

On that note:

I had two calls for film stuff this week!

I'll be doing another modeling gig for Good Day New York Wednesday Morning on Fox!

AND

The casting director for Gossip Girl's background called me and I'll be on set all day long on Monday!!!!!!! Gossip Girl!!!!!!!!!

sorry to lead you on by the title..... :)

Great Balls of Fire!

I may complain endlessly about the hospitality industry. But last night was one of those nights that I thanked God for being exactly where I am.

I work at BBKing Blues club on the weekends. We have headliners and newbies coming through our stage and every once in a while a legend will pass through. Etta James, Al Green and so on...

Last  night, Jerry Lee Lewis performed.
Jerry Lee Lewis. He was amazing. The man could barely walk but the way he tore apart that piano with his boney old man hands was incredible.
He sang all his classics and the room was roaring with 'Great balls of fire'.
I had a moment where I just watched him in awe. This man doesn't need to perform. But it looks like he'll do it to the day he dies.  You could tell he fed off the audience. His smile was intoxicating.
I would totally have had a crush on him in the 50's. :)

Favorite Quote from Eat Pray Love

"If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts (in every definition of the word), I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will protect upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check. I will give you all this and more, until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else."


For more visit this site:
http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/11679.Elizabeth_Gilbert

What a freakin week!!

Fall is here technically.
I'm tired all the time. I started the week finishing my workweek of two latenight shifts(working til 5am) and a double shift Monday starting at noon and not ending til 3am Tuesday. I blamed the weather change but in retrospect, that's probably why I'm so tired. I was fortunate enough to have the rest of he week off until Thursday. I was unfortunate enough to get sent home Thursday and Saturday bc it was so dead. Thank god last week was great monetarily.

Anyway, enough of that stuff- let's get to the fun stuff!!!!

Wednesday night I hung out with my friend Jenn and my new best gay friend Evan. We saw the Beautiful girls concert in my old neighborhood Williamsburg, drank the local beers and the local whisky. Don't remember eating the pizza that was left on my couch. LOL

Thursday, Walter invited me to a screening of his bosses short film. It was good and nice hanging out with industry people. At the same time you realize who these people are all just artists and creatives who just want to make it- real people and just bc they are on a television it all seems so glamorous. But they were completely normal and cool. The lead actor even smelled like the hippies that used to hang out at my friends house.
Normal. Except Walters boss of course who have thier own fortunate situation and who when I was introduced to the power couple they just stared at me. It was a good stare. Like, oh so this is who Walter dated. Hmmm... I made the extra effort to look supercute so at least I made a good impression for him. and myself hopefully.
We went to my favorite dinner spot in the area.the spotted pig. I won't even begin to rave about their brown butter sage gnudi. Amazing but they changed the recipe to have pesto. still good but the other was better.
The night turned sour and I went home.

Friday was a new day!
I booked a design gig with my friend. Worked on it all day.
Participated in Fashion night out which is a huge citywide event that stores stay open until late and host with wine and champagne. And dancing. My partner in fashion crime, Monica, and I strolled around SoHo saw the Marc Jacobs accessories truck, bought some Gardenia scented body oil at Bloomies and savored the Apple Cosmo martinis at Foley &  Corrina. My friend manages that boutique and introduced me to Chief marketing manager who will hopefully let me intern and show him my design chops.

Saturday was a double shift in which I was sent home from both restaurants bc it was so slow.
Let's just say I'm really hoping the designs for my friend Bryan will take off and he'll hold onto me through elections.
Between the two shifts I visited my friend Carina that will be leaving back home to Brazil. She is such a beautiful person with a beautiful heart and I wish her the very best doing Broadway for Brazil. That's the one downside about NY- you meet great people then they leave. She is one of those people who touch the hearts of everyone she meets and you know she has the brightest of futures ahead of her.

And now- football season is on is way.
I say goodbye to my fanatic friends around the country for the couple months, and join those here in my little town of Manhattan.
Go Jets, Tampa and Jags!

ok....real?

I'm not into porn at all, I always just found it a waste of time. But of course thats just me. I was in my improv class and youPorn was thrown out and I was the only person to say 'whats Uporn?!?' thinking it was some sort of weird website, and of  course, later I was condescendingly explained to, it's a youtube sort of site where people , you know, 'porn' and whatnot. (my response ' wow, sorry i'm not a freak!' ) I still haven't gone. I'm still not interested. But what I have stumbled upon, 15 years so late it seems, is REAL SEX on HBO. wow. so interesting. and not in the turn me on kind of way-not that I'd ever mention that anyway but, Literally, Information. facts, here and there. The crazy part is I remember I heard about this stuff when I was much younger and of course ignored it being the child that I was but now I'm completely like, wow, that's so interesting that kamasutra classes exist and how freaking wierd would it be to attend on of those with 15 couples getting it on, making all sorts of noises around you. mmmm no. I don't think I'd ever be comfortable with that. but i might admire those who are free enough to do so.... enjoy!

Happy Birthday!!!

So I went to church today to get a little Jesus in my life and lo' and behold- It's the Virgin Mary's birthday. I'm guessing she'd be around 2057 years old if she was 14 when she bore Christ and if the whole 'b.c' thing holds true.
We sang Happy Birthday at the end and everything. It was so nice.
It kind of reminds you that these people actually existed and they aren't just spiritual beings we hope are floating around us and watching us.

After church I spoke to my dear cousin Laura and went for a 4 mile walk around Central Park. It was glorious.
I received some news from a friend of mine that I wasn't too happy about but I don't want to let it ruin my day.

Still no word from one of my opportunities.
and I already put in my two weeks at MaxBrenner. I don't plan on retracting my notice, I don't want to do hospitality full time anymore. I can't. It drains me. Time to get crackin to find something else.


xo
f

I'm at a standstill right now and its driving me crazy. I'm making moves to change my life and I have no answers. My thoughts will not shut off. I want to work in fashion. I'm reconsidering acting. Its Saturday afternoon, I have the entire day off to myself. I didn't play the soundtrack from 'An Education' which has become my Saturday morning ritual. My ex is trying to get back in my life(?) My apt won't be ready til mid-october. Do I have to pay for the 2 weeks time after my lease is up? How much is this going to cost me? Will I have a roommate and can I really do this if a roommate bails? Is there a reason why my life is what it is? When will I get to the point where I want to be? I can imagine it but its not my face I see for some reason. I'm 28, feel like I just graduated and starting over. I've been feeling like this for a year and a half and I'm still at the same place where I started, other than further in debt than then. 

breathe.

a guy at work tattooed that to his wrist. I'm  contemplating tattooing 'relax' on my wrist.

I'm glad I sold my car. I'm glad I have a great family. I'm glad I have good friends. I'm glad I have exciting stuff to do next week.

Wednesday:concert, Thursday: film screening, Friday: Fashion night out, Saturday work and Sunday work. 

I want to take the entire month of January off to go home and sew clothes with my mom. I want to spend time with my adorable nieces and nephews. I want my husband to appear sooner than later.

I've pressed play on the itunes three times and it still hasn't played. AH

the intro to 'sunday kind of love' always relaxes me. Its nostalgic and takes me to another era.

A sunday kind of Love youtube song

and now I'm singing. 

I think thats why I love to sing. It's a form of release when you really don't know the right words to say. and I love a good piano.

and now I feel much much better.

'A sunday kind of love' video

Just stop thinking for 2 more weeks...

Mercury is kn retrograde.

The planet Mercury rules thinking and perception and all types of communication. When Mercury goes retrograde it gives rise to personal misunderstandings. There would be delays, flaws and hitches in all communication related areas like transportation,trade,etc. Astrologers advise not to make any important decisions while Mercury is retrograde, since it is likely that such decisions will be marred by misinformation, poor communication and careless thinking.